After two years of boarding school, Link returns home to an estranged family and a world that’s moved on without him. With no college plans and nowhere to turn, he’s forced to live in his car while working nonstop to afford school. Every attempt to get ahead ends in failure. As the weight of isolation and survival crushes him, the only person who ever truly understood him—his ex-girlfriend Amy—is about to move on for good. At rock bottom, Link realizes he still loves her. But to win her back, he’ll have to face the past he’s been running from and risk everything he has left.

14+ due to adult situations

Excerpt:

I feel stuck more than anything. I can’t go back to my old life in Vermont, and I can’t move forward here. The world I want to live in no longer exists. I lost it two years ago.

I want Amy.

I want to explain why I did what I had to do. I would have caused her more scarring had I held on. Her pain would have been doubled, tripled, possibly never-ending.

But now I’m the one who’s hurting, regretting what I did, wishing I had done things differently. Why did I listen to my dad and stepmom when they told me to break up with her? As disappointed as they were, Amy’s parents never once said anything so horrific. They still had faith I’d make the right choice. I’d redeem myself somehow. They believed in second chances, even third chances.

But not my folks. Especially not Stephanie.

I should’ve listened to Grandma’s advice years ago when she said: You gotta be able to walk away from places and people and not get down on yourself. But she never told me who to walk away from and who to hold on to.

Amy was the one person I should have held on to.

Like our house, Amy’s backs to the woods, and I know how to maneuver through the trees and prickly bushes to get to her backyard. During Freshman year, Amy’s parents let her move into the basement since all her brothers had gone to college. Living on the ground floor made it easy to sneak me in after dark. Sometimes, she’d be waiting behind the sliding glass door, dressed in little or nothing.

Hiding behind one of the giant oak trees, I can see that she and her friends are still awake, loud, and taking shots. Since when did Amy start drinking liquor? She was always a beer girl.

She was my girl.

I’m too much of a pussy to knock on the door. I don’t want to die being massacred by a bunch of drunk girls in their Hello Kitty jammies.

Feeling safe by the tree, I text Katie, hoping she hasn’t blocked my number.

Me: Hey, it’s Link. Is Amy up for talking? I have something I need to tell her.

Now, I just want to run. I’m in no condition to have a rational conversation with anyone. From the looks of things inside, Amy isn’t either. I see Katie cover her mouth when she reads my text. Amy snatches the phone and texts back.

Amy/Katie: Go fuck yourself! She doesn’t want to see you ever again.

Without thinking, I respond.

Me: Amy, come to the oak tree where we buried the time capsule.

Not even a second later, Amy rips open the sliding door like she means to dropkick the world and marches down the backyard. She halts three feet away, daggers for eyes, and the countdown begins.

I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. Even when she is flipping mad, there is something about Amy that excites and calms me all at once. For two years, I’ve tried making her a fictional story, a closed book never to be re-read, but she is more real than ever. Her cinnamon eyes lock on mine. Tears boil over. Instinctively, my arms open, ready to hold her. Whatever sadness or anger she feels, I’ll take it away. I’ll fix this. I’ll undo my mistakes. I’ll give her everything she deserves and more.

She finally opens her mouth, but she is speechless as well. Can she find it in her heart to forgive me? To give me a chance to explain myself?

But I forget she grew up with three older brothers, and I’m pretty sure Jordan taught her how to throw a punch. Amy nails me in the jaw so hard we both cry out. Cursing, she clenches her hand against her chest. “Get out of here!” she screams, tears devouring her face. “Get off my property, or...I’ll call the cops!”

Would she stoop to Stephanie’s level of needing the police to handle a personal problem? Or is she too drunk to act rationally?

“Amy...I just want to talk…” She struck me so hard that I can barely formulate a sentence. “I want to tell you how sorry I am.”

“It’s too late for that! You’re too late! So, get lost! I’m warning you!” She isn’t stable enough to throw another punch, but I bet she would kick me in the balls, given a chance.

I stumble backward, unsure if I am light-headed from the blow to my face, the alcohol, the heartbreak, or a combination of all three. Even though I would do anything at this point to make Amy listen, I can’t risk her calling the police. Never again. I’ll wait for another time when we’re sober, and I can offer more.

Dragging myself through the woods, I let the branches and prickly bushes attack at will. What am I going to tell the guys? The truth? They’d laugh their asses off. Does anyone take me seriously anymore?

I splatter ankle-high into the lake to splash water on my face. The black water is calm and inviting. It doesn’t hit, yell, or make me feel like an insubordinate. Swimming further into the lake’s arms, I imagine myself covered in leeches, the life being sucked out of me until I am nothing but skin and a rejected memory.