Signs We Don't See by Carrie Beamer

SKU 978-0-3695-0344-2

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Etta Litali has grown accustom to the superstitious behavior that comes along with being in an Italian family. But when her dad begins to spend his nights stealing signs from every city pole within three miles of their home, her house becomes overrun with dirty poster boards and the neighbors begin to notice.

Stressed her dad will end up on Oprah as the man who hoards stolen signs, Etta distracts herself with a boy named Jordan. Despite the ban Jordan’s clique has on Etta, their connection grows into something special.

Jordan starts to miss school and disappear leaving Etta confused and wondering if their relationship was ever real. Knowing Jordan is hiding something, Etta has to find a way to show Jordan he can trust her or she will lose him. The only way to do that is to reveal to him that she’s been keeping a secret too.

14+ due to adult situations



When the signs show up, I know it’s starting again.

The signs are taking over the house and bringing with them the presence of another deep dive into a bout of madness that has somehow already exhausted me. I’m talking about physical signs. Random garage sale signs, home for sale signs, opening soon signs, and any other sign that crosses my dad’s path on his morning outings. He’s usually up before the sun—if he even slept the night before—traipsing through the surrounding neighborhoods like a burglar who steals nothing of value but shouldn’t be there prowling around.

The sign collecting is new, as of the last couple of months anyway. He wheels my old red wagon behind him through the streets, stacking signs on top of each other like he’s lost the child that once bumped around carefree in the back. He drags them home with the belief that he’s saving them from something, but I’m not sure what that is. It’s a sign, not a pet.

In the kitchen, I slip the last piece of stale bread into the toaster as I analyze the sign my dad’s currently wiping down with a wad of paper towels. Covered in frosted donuts in an array of bright colors, it looks like it belongs, or belonged, to a donut shop I’m not familiar with.

“You get that one around here?” I gesture to the sign while I check my reflection in the toaster to see if my bangs have stayed as high as I had them before I left the bathroom. The half a can of Aqua Net I used better not be failing me already. I give one last smudge to the dark brown makeup I strategically blended on either side of my nose—hoping to create the illusion that it’s smaller—and glance back at my dad.

A lit cigarette hangs from his mouth, and the cherry draws dangerously close to his lips, threatening to add to the scars already peppered across them. One of the paper towels dangling from his hands has the word Oprah scribbled across it. My mom, along with every woman on my block, has been obsessed with Oprah Winfrey’s talk show since its debut about a year ago.

Every night before bed, she writes herself a note so she doesn’t forget to tape the show before she leaves for work the next morning even though she’d never forget. Oprah is as ingrained in her morning ritual as brushing her teeth. Stacked on top of our dusty coffee table like giant dominoes waiting to topple are VHS tapes designated for only the recording of Oprah. My mom says Oprah’s going to pave the way for women in this country to stop being made to feel less than men. If Oprah wants to take that on, we’re all ready for it—well, us women. It’s pretty stupid that it’s 1987 and someone still has to pave the way for women to fight for equality, but it’s not surprising.

“I think this one came from McGee Street,” he murmurs around the cigarette, answering my question without looking at me.

On the one hand, it’s a relief he didn’t stay up all night taking something apart, but on the other hand, McGee’s almost three miles away. He’s going farther and farther from our neighborhood, and it’s nagging at me like a hangnail that won’t heal. The last time he went through one of his episodes he took my Walkman apart.

Waking one morning before school, I found it in pieces and my brand-new Run-DMC tape unwound all over the living room floor. He claimed he needed a part from it so he could fix the electric can opener my mom bought at a garage sale. The can opener hadn’t needed fixing. If it had, he certainly wouldn’t have known how to fix it. Also, who gives a crap about an electric can opener? The manual one we have works fine.

There’s no way to rationalize with him when he believes something to be true even when it isn’t. And being mad at my dad means nothing when his brain decides to take a journey away from reality. His mind comes at things prepared to battle whatever it is he sees must be fixed or changed, and it’s overwhelming to say the least.

“Dad, you can’t keep stealing people’s signs. We have plenty now. Okay?”

I start buttering my toast, looking around for my Converse. Man, I miss the days when we had actual food in the house, and I could whip up an omelet. I can make the perfect omelet thanks to my culinary classes at school, but all we have is bread.

“Aren’t you late for school?”

His unwashed hair hangs down in his face. He gives his head a small shake to clear his line of vision, but he still doesn’t look at me.

“Please tell me that you filled out the applications Mom left you?”

I pilfer through the signs piled on the kitchen table, trying to remember where she put them. My dad gives me a sideways glance. He’s afraid I’m messing up his signs. Avoiding a lecture from him that’ll make zero sense and further my anger at this mess, I give up on looking.

My mom spends her weekends scouring the newspaper, trying to find a job for Dad that doesn’t involve him dealing with people. There’s one open for a night janitor at a plastics plant that would be perfect.

“I’m not cleaning someone’s floors. We’re doing fine.”

He starts wiping down another sign.

You won’t clean floors for money, but you’ll clean someone’s sign for free.

“Fine? We’re not close to fine. You’ve been unemployed for over six months, and we’re running out of money. Mom’s pay from the daycare isn’t enough. We can’t keep this up.”

I spot my shoes and rush to slip them on. He’s right. I’m late.

Product Reviews

Score: 5 out of 5 (based on 13 ratings)
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Couldn’t stop reading!
Written by Kerry Michael on 2nd Aug 2021

This was a page-turner for me! I didn’t want to put it down. The romance was sweet, and the back story was so intriguing that it kept me guessing. I just love a book that sucks me in!

A good read for any age!
Written by Kerry Stites on 2nd Aug 2021

Love this book! Easy to read and the message regarding mental health and accepting and supporting those that are dealing with a mental health diagnosis or crisis is great! Well done Carrie Beamer!!

Great Book!
Written by Sarah Brown on 2nd Aug 2021

This is a great read by an author that has quickly become one of my favorites. A thoughtful and touching story that resonates with anyone who has experience with a loved one with mental illness.

Must read!!
Written by TreBerry on 2nd Aug 2021

Etta is a teenage girl, living in an adult world. She’s in high school, checking bullies by day. Working at her friends’ family restaurant by night, helping to pay the bills. She’s just trying to avoid her dad’s “weird” obsessions, and keep her fashions in tact. Luckily she has the bestest bff ever, Nessa, in her corner and the affections of the cool guy in school, Jordan, to distract her from su vida loca! ⠀

Long and Short Reviews
Written by Astilbe on 20th Jul 2021

Everyone struggles with something. This was such a compassionate take on how one working class family handled mental illness in the 1980s. Obviously, the medical treatments and community understanding of the disease Etta’s father was eventually diagnosed with was not as advanced as it would be today. It was fascinating to me to see how everyone tried to understand what was going on with him. Their reactions were as true to the era they lived in as they were true to the individual personalities of the family members, friends, and medical professionals who were trying to help in the best ways they knew how. It would have been useful to have a little more time spent developing the romantic plot, especially during the last few scenes. While I appreciated the slow, natural pacing of it during the beginning and middle of the story, I did think there was space to explore it further once the main conflicts had been resolved and Etta had enough emotional energy to devote to lighthearted matters like these. This is a minor criticism of something I thought was otherwise well written. If the author ever writes a sequel, I hope the romantic subplot will be given more attention then as it really was a delightful part of this character’s personal growth. I absolutely adored Etta’s relationship with her best friend, Nessa. Their personalities and interests complemented each other beautifully. The only thing better than seeing how they used their strengths to improve each other’s lives was how loyal they were. No matter what they were going through, they were always there for each other. Signs We Don’t See was a thought-provoking read that I’d recommend to anyone who is interested in mental illness or 1980s culture.

A deep young romance that's both poignant and fun.
Written by Lauren Smith on 7th Jun 2021

Set in the 80’s and reminiscent of classic 80’s teen film Pretty in Pink, Signs We Don’t See is a poignant yet entertaining look at family, relationships, mental illness, and a sense of responsibility that goes way beyond a teenage girl’s expectations. I loved the exploration of identity, soulmates, and loyalty that are present throughout the story. The romance is strong, and its many moving parts are well-balanced and entertaining yet thoughtful.

5.0 out of 5 stars SO GOOD!!!!
Written by Erin B on 7th Jun 2021

Signs We Don’t See - Carrie Beamer Genre: YA Steam Rating: 0 Star Rating: 5 Well, she did it again! 5 stars Ms. Beamer! I absolutely adore the way Carrie Beamer writes. Once again Carrie takes a sensitive topic and knocks it out of the park. The words are so compassionate and heartfelt. Not only that, but it is so well written I felt like I was right there with Etta and Nessa and one of their friends. (Because I definitely don't wanna hang out with Stacey!) This book is a fantastic reminder that we never know what others are going through. As I read I kept thinking of that graphic where there’s an iceberg and all you really know is what you see - that very tippy top, but there’s really so much more to the iceberg below the surface. There is SO MUCH we don’t know about people. Even people we love and spend time with daily. Be kind, always. Be kind with your words, your facial expressions, your attitude, your actions … just be kind. Tell your people you love them, that you’re thinking of them. Read less

It's got a little bit of everything!
Written by Mommysreads on 7th Jun 2021

Another amazing CB book! I loved this SO.. much!! It was a fast-moving read for me, finished in 24 hours. The plot is what had me engaged from the start. It's fresh and unique! Each character brought something fresh to the table. To mention a few: ☆Etta was the "it" character for me. She is feisty yet soft and we watch her develop in a blink of an eye. ☆Nessa, her bff was an absolute trip and reminded me of an old childhood friend of mine! ☆Jordan was a mystery worth decoding! The story first centers on Etta's father and his declining mental health. The way Carrie handled the storyline so delicately, blew me away. I could see this being a television series and I would park my booty right in front of the TV for the premiere! A heartfelt read with a heavy dose of Italian culture, lots of laughs, and 80's references make for the perfect balance! You all should consider having this beautiful YA on your bookshelves!

Loved the twist!
Written by Hayley DeFeo on 7th Jun 2021

Such a sweet story! Could not figure out the twist at the end.

Couldn’t put it down
Written by Casey Suttner on 7th Jun 2021

I stayed up late two nights in a row because I could not put it down and had to finish it. Love the characters of this book from the BFF to BF. Carrie Beamer’s 2nd book is worth the read!

Must Read!
Written by Susan on 14th May 2021

I enjoyed this book immensely!. Signs We Don't See is a homage to the 80s! The author makes it a point to help us all understand mental health issues. More people need to read this book to get a better understanding of what others go through when dealing with mental health. The book was very descriptive and made me feel like i was walking the streets in Kansas City and back in High school with Nessa! The love story is palpable. I felt the connection between Etta and Jordan right away!

Love and understanding always wins!!
Written by Amazon Customer on 14th May 2021

This story touched my soul! ❤️ Whether you’ve known someone with a mental illness or someone who has dealt with someone in their life with a mental illness or not, this book gives such great insight from all perspectives. It will truly open your eyes and heart for anyone touched by someone dealing with it. Love the characters as they are so real and down to earth. Hoping this shows there doesn’t need to be a stigma regarding it, just needs understanding and love to help everyone going through it. And love always wins!

Great fast YA read
Written by ABC_AshleysBookCurious on 14th May 2021

Wow! This YA book is beautiful and beautifully done. I loved it. It was meaningful, smart and charming with some serious topics. I loved the friends and family support in such a small community. Everyone needs a Nessa in their lives a friend that will love you, support you and also help you put your needs first. I highly recommend this super fast YA read.