Eighteen Christmases together, one Christmas until forever. MAYBE NEXT CHRISTMAS is a coming-of-age romance told over four winter breaks, sprinkled with winter wonder magic, twinkling lights, and stolen kisses.

Lawrence is a poor kid from the Bronx and Rose is a capricious modern princess from the Philadelphia Mainline. They spend every winter break together— tree fort sleepovers, ugly-sweater parties, and New Year’s Eve soirees—but everything changes when they turn fifteen. When he realizes his love for her and knows she won’t return it.

Through changing holiday seasons, Rose and Lawrence are torn between family conflict and loss, misunderstandings, and the pull of first love, but this Christmas, Rose and Lawrence must decide: can a love which began in childhood be pieced together or will this be their final break?

14+ due to adult situations

 

Excerpt:

The elegant homes were scattered beyond, a sprinkle of fairy lights. Lawrence recognized the Moore’s tiled red roof among them. He breathed in the cool night air, which felt wonderful after being couped up in the stuffy club.

Rose shivered in her dress.

He pulled off his jacket and handed it to her. He had seen that done in movies and was thrilled to do it. The moon was high and piercing. The sounds of raucous laughter and music flowed from the ballroom. There were only moments until the new year.

It was another year of adoring her, without her knowing it. Another year of thinking about her every day but only seeing her on seven of them. The ache of it burned straight through him. He placed his arm around her. He only wished he could be taller. She didn’t seem to notice the difference and placed her head on his shoulder. The echoes of clicking champagne flutes filled the banquet halls.

 Rose pulled his jacket tight around her shoulders. “Any resolutions this year?”

Lawrence’s mind filled with ideas, faster than he could count. He’d like to make new friends. Figure out a course of study and stick to it. Fast track his way to a scholarship. An Ivy League was his ticket to her world. He’d like to get in shape. Get smoother social skills like his brother, but most of all he’d like to impress Rose, really impress her. He wanted to show her and her family that he was worthy of her. In his wildest hopes, he would whisk her away some place far off. He knew it was dumb, but he often daydreamed of pulling up in front of her house on a motorcycle. She’d run out the front door, her hair cascading behind her like a shampoo commercial, and hop on his bike. They would drive off together, her arms hugging his rock-hard abs.

But he skipped all that and simply said, “I’d like to be better.”

“Don’t be silly,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. It was obvious she thought he was a hopeless case. He felt like a toddler asking to sit at the big boys’ table.

She thinks of me like a brother. He would prove her wrong, he resolved. He’d make her see him in a new light.

He held on to her ever so tighter. “What about you, any resolutions?”

She closed her eyes, her face still luminous in shades of evening blue. “That everything would stay like it is this Christmas.”

 Lawrence flinched to see Rose crying. “What is it?”

She wiped her eyes. “I know it won’t. It’s all about to change. I can feel it.” What would change? Her family? Or the two of them? She never needed to worry about losing him. He only wanted to stay by her side forever.

“We won’t change.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “It’ll always be us. You and me at every Christmas.”

The music grew in volume. The band switched to classic rock and the over forty crowd ate it up. The champagne kicked in and the minutes to the new year ticked down.

“Do you ever wonder,” Lawrence said, “What it would be like if we could spend the whole year together and not just winter break?”

She lifted her head from his shoulder. “Not really.”

With his free hand, he tightly gripped the icy railing of the balcony. “I always think about it.”

She pulled herself out from under his arm, as if something in her snapped to attention. “Well, you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t think of me at all.”

Why was she saying that? Did she want to push him away? He frowned. “I’ll always think of you.”

Her face was colder than the frozen hills behind her. “Don’t.” She handed him back his jacket, her cheeks stained from mascara-laced tears. “I have to go meet Garrett.”

“What about the tree fort?”

“We can do it tomorrow.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow.”

She sighed. “Laurie, we’re no longer kids.”

“I can come with you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She didn’t have to say it. His presence embarrassed her. His jaw clenched. “Is he, like, your boyfriend now?” He hated how whiny his voice sounded.

Rose looked back toward the ballroom. “I knew you wouldn’t get it.”

The way she emphasized you, as if to say, “you of all people,” left him speechless. Clearing his throat, he said, “You’re right, I don’t get it. What could you possibly see in him?”

 “It’s not what I see in him, it’s what everyone else does.” She wiped her cheeks. “Dad likes him. Mom likes him. And I just want them to be happy with things right now. They need me to make them happy.”

“You would date someone you don’t like for them?”

“I do like him.” Her voice was charged with steely determination, as if trying to convince herself. “He’s my boyfriend and as my friend you should accept him.”

His razor-sharp laugh pierced the night.

Her chin pulled up. “Garrett is popular. He’s athletic. He’s handsome. I don’t see why…”

“You forgot to say rich,” he interrupted her.

She thrust her finger in his face. “You’ll never get the expectations everyone has for me. The kind of pressure I’m under.” Her voice broke, and she was trembling. “What do you know anyway? All you ever do is sit on the sidelines and judge.” Her face twisted in disgust.

“Yeah, well. I’m just the family friend.”

She closed her eyes. “Laurie.”

“But you’re my best friend.” There was a tremor in his voice that he couldn’t swallow. “Why did you kiss me by the way?”

She jerked her head up. “You know why. I told you.”

He shook his head.

“It was a practice kiss.”

“Do you practice kiss your other friends?”

“Laurie, that’s not fair.”

“No, that kiss wasn’t fair.”

That kiss wasn’t going anywhere. She could forget about it, but he never would.

She wrapped her arms around her shivering torso. “I can’t do this with you now.”

His eyes felt dewy, hot. He blinked hard. “No need. Go have fun with your new friends. I’m sure it will be a scintillating evening.” He came off like a sniveling jerk and he knew it. So, he acted like a bigger jerk. He couldn’t expect too much from her. He couldn’t pin all his hopes on one night. On one girl.

Before she turned to go, she said, “And I’m the snob.”

Listening to the click of her heels, he wished she’d punched him in the face. A kick in the nuts would have been better. She’d thrust him aside for someone better. Not that he had much chance with her to begin with. The worst part—none of it made her happy. He blinked, stunned and then he heard the ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one… Happy New Year and the explosive cheers of three hundred rich, drunk mainliners.

“Here’s to the worst year of my life,” he said out loud to no one.